FEB 04, 2025

LOCATION: SUN VALLEY, CA

Static came through the window of my apartment, made a box of mac n cheese, then ate 3 spoonfulls and left it to get cold on the stove. It sucked to clean up, and I tried a bite the next day and it was wayyy too salty. I know it was static because he took a few selfies on my Macbook webcam before leaving.

ITEMS OF NOTE FOR THE STATIC SIGHTING SOCIETY:

• Static may require less food to survive than an average human, thus suggesting a slower metabolic rate
• Static appears to have a high tolerance--nay, preference--for salt
• Static is able to interact with electronics without entering a password